Post 183: Asian American Experience: Where are you REALLY from?

Post 183:; Asian American Experience: Where are you REALLY from?

I know many Asian Americans are asked this annoying question all the time. When getting to know a non-Asian for instance, the non-Asian would ask, "Where are you from?" and the Asian American would answer, "I am from NY." Then the non-Asian would continue, "No, where are you REALLY from?" And of course, I would get irritated and say loudly and rudely, "I am FROM New York."

According to Nakayama in his book, "Intercultural Communication in Context", it is not polite to ask an Asian American, 'Where are you REALLY from?" because this implies that the Asian American is not American, but comes from some other foreign country.

Sometimes it is unwise to ask people where they are “really from.” Such 
questions assume that they cannot be from where they said they were from, due 
to racial characteristics or other apparent features. Recognizing a person’s his- 
tory and its link to her or his identity in communication is a first step in estab- 
lishing intercultural relationships. It is also important to be aware of your own 
historical blinders and assumptions. (Nakayama, 152, 5th edition)

This question occurs so commonly to Asian Americans that if you have students go to Youtube and put in the words "Asian Americans Where are you REALLY from?", you get to listen to the accounts of many angry Asian Americans talking about how annoying this questions really is to them and why. For an Asian American Experience/Literature class, have students listen to these Youtube videos on how various Asian Americans have reacted to this question and have students discuss why this question is annoying and how the different Asian Americans in those videos have reacted to this impolite question.

POINT of VIEW 


G eetha Kothari, a native New Yorker, explains her anger at being asked 
where she is from. How does this question communicate to her that she 
is not a U.S. American? 

“Where are you from?” 

The bartender asks this as I get upftvm my table. It’s quiet at the Bloo?n- 
field Bridge Tavern, home of the bestpirogies in Pittsburgh. I have just finished 
eating, just finished telling my boyfriend how much I love this place because it's 
cheap and simple, not crowded in the early evening, and has good food. 

“New York.” 

He stares at me, but before he can ask another question, I'm down the 
stairs in the ladies' room, washing my hot face. When I come up again, I 
glare at him. 

“I hate this place, ” I say to my boyfriend. “That man asked me where 
I'm from. ” 

The man has no reason to ask me that question. We are not having a 
conversation. I am not his friend. Out of the blue, having said no other words 
to me, he feels that it is ok for him, a white man, to ask me where I am from. 

The only context for this question is my skin color and his need to classify me. 

I am sure he doesn't expect me to say New York. I look different, therefore it's 
assumed that I must be from somewhere, somewhere that isn't here, America. 

It would never occur to him to ask my boyfriend, who is white — and Cana- 
dian — where he's from. 

Source: From “Where Are You From?” by Geetha Kothari, 1995, Under Western Eyes: Per- 
sonal Essays From Asian America, edited by G. Flongo (New York: Anchor Books, 1995), 
pp. 151-173. 

(Nakayama, 152)

 In the following video, a bunch of Asians born in Canada, are asked the  Where are you really from question:



Think of it this way, "Are you Jane Smith?"  Jane Smith says, "Yes, I am Jane Smith." Then the annoying person asks, "Are you REALLY Jane Smith?". Can you see that the implication behind the second question is that of doubt and that Jane Smith is lying about her name so the annoying person wants to know who she REALLY is. Why can't an Asian American be from New York? Chicago?  When you ask the 'Are you REALLY' question, you are implying the Asian American is lying and that he/she is an Other. And in order for the non-Asian to accept an answer, an Asian American has to admit he/she is not American, but is really from China for a Chinese American, Japan for a Japanese American, or Korea for a Korean American when he/she has been in the United States for generations.

When you ask, "Where are you really from?" you are asking, 'Why are you not white like other Americans?" so when you ask the question, "Where are you really from?", You are asking, "Why are you not white ?" Here is a funny rendition of the "Where are you really from?" experience that people of color experience, but put in a humorous way like a game show: