Post 185: Being from two cultures

Post 185: Being from two cultures

I am Asian American. I ask myself frequently, am I Asian? or Am I American? Which am I?

Communication scholar Ge Gao contrasts the Western idea of the independent self with the Chinese notion of the interdependent self. n the Western world, an “ individual ” signifies an independent entity 
with five will, emotions and personality. An individual, however, is not 
conceptualized in this way in the Chinese culture. . . . The incomplete nature 
of the self is supported by both Taoism and Confucianism even though they 
differ hi many fundamental ways. Taoism defines self as part of nature. Self 
and nature together complete a harmonious relationship. Self in the 
Confucian sense is defined by a person's surrounding relations, which often are 
derived from kinship networks and supported by cultural values such as filial 
piety, loyalty, dignity, and integrity.The other-orientation thus is key to an interdependent self. Congruous 
with the notion of an interdependent self, the Chinese self also needs to be recog- 
nized, defined, and completed by others. The self’s orientation to others’ needs, 
wishes, and expectations is essential to the development of the Chinese self. 

Source: From Ge Gao, “Self and Other: A Chinese Perspective on Interpersonal Relation- 
ships.” In W. G. Gudykunst et al. (Eds.), Communication in Personal Relationships Across 
Cultures. (Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage, 1996), pp. 83-84. 

I feel I have traits of both cultures. My parents are from China so they want me to be more traditional, passive, and solve problems through harmony, while my American heritage tells me to be more confrontational in solving problems or else I'd be perceived as a doormat and be 'used' by bullies.  I feel this back and forth between my parent's traditional way of thinking and the American way of thinking.

Many issues of identity are closely tied to our notions of self. Each of us has a per- 
sonal identity, which is the sum of all our identities, but it may not be unified or 
coherent. A dialectical perspective allow us to see identity in a more complex way. 
We are who we think we are; at the same time, however, contextual and external 
forces constrain and influence our self-perceptions. We have many identities, and 
these can conflict. For example, according to communication scholar Victoria 
Chen (1992), some Chinese American women feel caught between the traditional 
values of their parents’ culture and their own desire to be Americanized. (Nakayama, 199)

 When I am obedient and passive, I see myself as Asian. The Asian part of me obeys the boss and respects authority. I always feel it more natural to say yes to the boss than to say no. I have a tendency to commit to many tasks because my Asian upbringing tells me that it is impolite to say no and impolite to bring up other people's flaws and mistakes. It is much easier for me to yield and submit to the background. In Confucian teaching, the head of the household is the father, then the mother and the children come last in terms of authority.

I feel I am American when I want to stand up for my individuality. When somebody else makes an honest mistake, then the American side of me tells that person he/she has made a mistake. I love American food, movies and I speak English better than I speak Chinese. I cannot read and write Chinese, yet I can read and write fluent English and it is this choice of language that makes me feel American.

As an ESL teacher, this dichotomy of cultures comes in handy because I can better relate to students who come from diverse cultures. I am more aware of what it is to be American and am able to teach American culture vs Eastern culture without any difficulty. My knowledge of both Chinese and American culture allows me to better understand the needs of my ESL students. I love teaching about both American culture to ESL students and Asian American culture to American students. When I say 'American students', I mean, 'non-Asian' students born and raised in North America.

I feel more American than Asian because when I was in Taiwan, I was seen as American. When I was in France, I was seen as American. Interestingly, in America, I am seen as Asian sometimes because of my Asian face. Despite the fact I have a Chinese face, I have actually never been to China. You can never judge a book by its cover. This is what I think America is all about--it is always about its diversity and its great ability to accept and assimilate everyone whether or not they have an Asian face or not. I do hope that when people see my Asian face, they don't see the face of the 'Wuhan' virus or the 'Chinese' virus, but they see I am American like everybody else.

If you are from another country, how do you see yourself? Are you a hyphenated American? Do you believe that the US should be a salad or a melting pot?