Post 417: What is a good way to give feedback?

What is a good way to give feedback?

 

 

https://hbr.org/2019/03/the-feedback-fallacy 

"Focusing people on their shortcomings doesn’t enable learning; it impairs it"

In this article "Why Feedback Fails" by Marcus Buckingham, the best feedback you can give is to emphasize what the worker does well. For instance, if the worker is making a sale and the client is about to buy the product, then you as the boss would say to the salesman, "Keep doing THAT!" This is where you are excellent. In other words, during times your worker is succeeding, point out what he is doing well and how he is doing well.

Buckingham claims that when we criticize people, then the brain sees this as a threat and then the brain will initiate the 'flight or fight response' and that's why when people are criticized, they become defensive and emotional which impedes their ability to listen, learn and grow.

However, if you tell workers what they are already doing right and to encourage them to keep doing what they are doing right with a few improvements added, you initiate the creativity part of the brain, the 'rest and digest' part of the brain which is the time we are absorbing new info like when we talk to our friends, laugh at jokes, watch TV, and when we teach people to improve at their most creative moments, that's when they learn without the negative baggage of feeling threatened 'flight or fight' response.

Buckingham offers suggestions on how you can slightly change the wording of your tips to soften the blow of your feedback. Instead of pointing out a mistake like, 'You need better communication skills.", you can say, "If I were you...." scenario where you put yourself in that person's shoes and how you would handle that situation rather than tell the worker, show the worker through casual conversation so couch your feedback less like a mistake, but more like friendly advice and the worker will be more prone to listen to friendly advice from a 'friend' than from a micromanaging boss Ironically enough, this article on feedback came from my 'friendly advice' boss too! :).

Has COVID19 ruined the sense of community?

 Post 416: Has COVID19 ruined Our Sense of Community?

 

 Picture this. Somebody runs out of sugar. The grocery stories are all closed. So you run to your neighbor to borrow that proverbial cup of sugar and then you return the sugar bowl after you use it! No big deal in pre-pandemic times.

Or, you need somebody to help you lift heavy furniture because your spouse has gotten too old to help you lift heavy objects. You go to the handsome young man down the street or down the hall, and that handsome young man with the rippling muscles helps you move the furniture as you redecorate your room.  No big deal during pre-pandemic times!

You finish a business meeting. You shake hands with all involved. You get a feeling of satisfaction or job well done as you shake each hand. No big deal during pre-pandemic times.

In Europe, it is customary for males and females to exchange kisses on the cheek with people you know, you exchange the kiss, you acknowledge the other person. This makes you happy to see that person. No big deal during pre-pandemic times.

You want to visit Grandma or Grandpa in their nursing home. You want your kids to get to know their grandparents. Normally, when you visit them, you all go down to the cafeteria, or go for a walk around the garden, no big deal during pre-pandemic times.

Now when the old lady runs out of sugar and all the grocery stores are closed, nobody helps the old lady because every neighbor is a potential Typhoid Mary as people fear catching COVID19. If you need extra sugar, you are out of luck. You are all alone. You are on your own thanks to COVID19.

Need that cute young man to move your furniture? Nope, that cute young man lives with his very vulnerable parents, so because he fears COVID19 exposure, he will not help you move that furniture to keep his elderly parents, his very pregnant wife and children safe. Too bad. You are all alone. You are on your own thanks to COVID19.

You now go to Zoom for your business meetings. Out goes the handshake. Out goes the actual physical presence of people. You meet with people all alone in your apartment. You want to consult your partner seated next to you. You cannot go over something you forgot. You pick up the phone, but the line is busy so you are stuck just leaving a voicemail. No more spontaneous contact with your coworker since everyone is in isolation working from home thanks to COVID19.

Grandma cannot see her kids except through a window. It is very lonely for Grandma not to be able to hug and kiss her children and grandchildren. Grandma cannot go downstairs to be with others. She is kept isolated in her room for her own safety from COVID19. She is all alone. She is on her own thanks to COVID19.

What has the fear of COVID19 done to our sense of humanity? our willingness to help strangers in need? our willingness to look in on our elderly neighbors? our ability to just hug, kiss, touch, handshake another human being? Is the fear of catching COVID19 destroying the fabric of society? What do people do to alleviate the loneliness? More Zoom? 

Sadly, I have no solutions to this dilemma. Therefore, I wait for your comments on how to solve the crisis of loneliness, depression, and the feeling of isolation peo0ple are feeling during this pandemic. What can be done to solve this crisis?